By Roisin O’Donoghue
Drama. It can happen anytime, anywhere. Some people hate it while others thrive on it. Needless to say, when you’re in university you’ve got bigger priorities than getting caught up in a silly feud or argument especially if it does not involve you. It can be stressful enough either way and the older you get the less time you have for it. It’s a part of life because if you interact and have relationships with other people so chances are you will at some point experience drama.
You may already have a sure-fire way on dealing with it and if it works for you then great! If not, then I can share some of my own methods on dealing with drama.
- The first thing is to remain calm and not lose your temper. Don’t scream or call the other person names either. You might say something you can’t take back and doing this will only make the situation worse.
- If you are directly involved in the conflict try and understand what part you played in creating it. Did you say something insulting? Did you do something that caused stress to the other person? If so you must explain your reasons for doing so and apologise.
- When apologising, don’t be passive aggressive, like “I’m sorry you feel hurt”. That’s not an apology because you’re still deflecting the blame. The right thing to say would be “I’m sorry for hurting you”. No one likes to admit they’re wrong but if you are at fault for something then you must swallow that bitter pill called pride and say sorry.
- If the drama is between two other people and you’re not directly involved try to remain so. You can be there to advise the others if necessary but getting too involved may complicate the situation especially if you take sides.
- Don’t immediately assume that the other person is being dramatic. Sometimes genuine problems arise that need to be addressed and it’s important that you do so. Avoiding these situations because you don’t want the hassle could lead to bigger problems later on.
- If all else fails, walk away. You can only do so much to right a wrong and if the other person isn’t responding positively to it then it might be time to call it quits. If this is the case then don’t feel too bad or obsess over it. Thinking things like “if only I’d apologised more then maybe we could still be friends” will only make you feel helpless. If you share the same classes or live in the same place as the person you’ve fallen out with then try and be civil to them until the end of semester.
Remember some people are drama queens and attention seekers. If the person you’re having the trouble with is like this then you should move on for your own sake. You’re not obligated to help someone who won’t help themselves.